All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i permit you to call me
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
