Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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