I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
