I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
