dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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