haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
