They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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