uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
