So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
