My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
