i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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