he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
