so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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