do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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