.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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