Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
