He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
