You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
