Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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