everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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