Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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