his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
A+ Viking dick
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
