i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
