You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
