He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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