I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
