also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
