elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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