Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Randomize
