If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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