How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
