Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
