Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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