Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
