I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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