Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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