And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
