Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.

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(914): View more from New York

It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.

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(786): View more from Florida

hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!

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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole

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(253): View more from Washington

Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know

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(360): View more from Washington

You fed me pizza off a sword last night.

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(707): View more from California

Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.

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