I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
