Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He did a backflip because drugs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
