If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The feeling are messing with the penis
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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