Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
