I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Randomize
