i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
