OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
