I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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