If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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