so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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