Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
