blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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